The Worst Feeling

I write this in the comfort of my home. My son is playing while watching a movie. We've had dinner, changed into our pjs and are getting ready to settle down for the night. Yet, every time I think about this afternoon, I get a sick feeling in my stomach.

We went to the library today. Nothing unusual about that as it's one of our favorite activities.  As usual, after my son picked out his DVDs, he sat down in front of one the kid's computers and played the educational games they have on it. As is also usual, I use this time to get my own stuff. Of course, I remind him not to go anywhere without me, to stay there and that I will come back for him.

While I was browsing, I would often look over to see if he's still there. After a few times, it happened. I couldn't see him. I immediately went to that section. Nobody was on the computers. I quickly scanned the area to look for him, all the while I was calling his name. I quickly made my way to the main area, still calling his name.

I finally saw him near the doors. He saw me at almost the same time so we made our way towards each other. After my initial relief, I asked the questions that have been racing through my mind while I was looking for him. Where was he? Why did he leave? Did he go with somebody? Did somebody hurt him? He seemed ok. He said he went to look for me. Later on he said he had gone to the restroom by himself.

I had to stop myself from asking more questions because he was getting frazzled. I reassured him that I was not mad. We then went on to get our stuff. All this happened in less than 20 minutes. I'm certain of that because we got there 20 minutes before the library was supposed to close and we we left even before they did.

It was one of the longest 20 minutes of my life. It's certainly one of the worst feelings I've ever had. It's a feeling I pray I never have again.